Lyrics to Workin’ Woman Blues

 by 

Valerie June

I ain't fit to be no mother 

I ain't fit to be no wife yet 

I been workin' like a man, y'all 

I been workin' all my life yeah 

There ain't no dinner on the table 

Ain't no food in the 'fridgerator 

I'll go to work and I'll be back later 

I go to work said I'd be back later 

Lord you know I'm a good looking woman 

Lord you know I'm a good looking girl 

If you want to give me something 

Anything in this great big world yeah 

Lord you know that I am ready 

for my sugar my sugar daddy.

    . . . chants Valerie June in Workin’ Woman Blues, from Pushin’ Against a Stone, a collection of songs and ballads I can only describe as Blues Gospel Folk Soul Incantation Poetry. Music is visceral, entering the spirit as do the sounds, sights and scents of a long walk on the beach––sea foam meeting ocean spray, kelp bulb greeting beach glass, driftwood adorning sand dune, bare toes testing tide pull, salt wind softening gull caw, seal bark parting morning fog––the whole intoxicating whiff of it infused into my body and soul come stroll’s end. When the voice and lyrics of a song kiss my imagination in that way that raises goosebumps, I stop, and listen . . . 

     . . . to June’s Tennessee-stropped voice calling out the most primary of female choices––to work, or to be a wife and mother––evoking in me the night howl of a She-Wolf, until the crepuscule cedes to morning light and washes the air of its haunting sound, and the creature, hiding from the sun on the fringes of civilization, waits for another day’s dusk to emerge and sing her song once more, with only the moon in attendance . . . her mating desire, her pack identity, her eternal hunger, her difficult life all borne on the winds of the wild until the end of time.

     Workin’ Woman Blues is not a feminist cri, rather it is a finely feathered arrow aimed from the crossbow of reality, one that curses a woman’s hard decisions––whether to work, for which effort she will earn a salary, or to have a family, for which effort she will not, or perhaps, by embracing the aspiration to juggle both, to create a bottomless pit of guilt filled with the hourly sacrifice of one endeavor’s needs to the other’s. No feminist movement forgives any individual woman the burden of her personal choice, for she who chooses to work is excoriated by the sneers of the motherhood dominion (Does she hate children? Is she incapable of love?), while she who chooses not to is judged by the society of salaried female workers (Is she male-dominated? Does she lack self-esteem?). 

     In many ways the three waves of feminism, officially dating back to the mid 1800s, have made it even more difficult for a woman to make a choice with which she can comfortably live, the assumption being that there is, or should be, or can be, a practicable choice between working or being a stay at home mother, or that there is a viable way to do both well. 

      Despite the endurance of hushed whispers and gossip, many men still have paramours, those ethereal creatures never exhausted by a hard day’s work or spiritually weary from providence’s travails, instead perennially sexually disposed, emotionally buoyant, their seductive physiques unblemished by the shifting weather of a committed relationship, or shopping or cooking or cleaning or child-raising, or . . . ”workin’ all my life y’all.”

     Endowed with both contempt and admiration, a mistress accepts the potential oblivion into which she has tossed herself, exacting her Sugar Daddy’s financial support as payment for singing for her supper. Her sexual vitality bequeathed to the ardor of her lover during the day, at night she wraps her body in satin sheets and falls asleep alone, excluded from birthdays, vacations, soccer games and ballet recitals, convinced all the while that her fate is better than that of the betrayed wife, whose womb may well have swelled at the behest of her husband’s emission, but whose endless days sacrificed to its issue eventually kill off any ambition for her own life of creative endeavor, and slowly anesthetize her love of freedom and fantasy and romance . . . and sex.

     The truth is that while men loathe being thought of merely as breadwinners and providers, the sheer cost of raising children encourages women to see men through the prism of their potential financial prowess, rather than as the more complex human beings they really are. The truth is that while women loathe being thought of merely as good wife material, the shelf life of a woman’s fertility and the improbability of creating independent financial wealth before the clock ticks out encourages men to see women through the prism of their fecundity, rather than as soulmates with aspirations and dreams for their lives separate from their youth and beauty.

Migrant Mother: Destitute Peapickers in California,

 1936, Dorothea Lange

     Few images are as gut-wrenching as Dorothea Lange’s legendary 1936 photograph, which she named Migrant Mother: Destitute Peapickers in California, the hapless and unsuspecting central figure in which is Florence Owens Thompson, about whom Lange recalled decades later:

     Wif-ing and Mother-ing should be, many men and women believe, full-time roles, ultimately at odds with working outside of the home for pay. Yet, when confronted with a mother such as Florence Thompson, we seem unable to fathom exactly how she arrived at her lean-to existence. We seem not to understand the domino effect of circumstances that might have propelled her there––a national economic downturn, agricultural drought, an environmental catastrophe, war, or the illness, unemployment or death of her husband. When we see a mother and her children who have fallen through life’s cracks, it fails to register that a woman who does not work for a salary, who is not educated to work for money, who does not have access to a steady income, who cannot fall back on family money or support, who cannot pick up the ball and run with it should her soldier fall by her side, such a woman stands to be swallowed up by a prospective wormhole of destitute peapickers.  When we see a woman and her children who are down on their collective heels, we think it is her fault. As readily as we laud and love her nubility when she stands glowing and pregnant beside her man as he climbs to the top of the corporate ladder, we just as readily disown and deny her when we spy her glowering in an alleyway somewhere.   

     Given our partiality toward stay-at-home wives and mothers, it is not surprising that a Workin’ Woman, even if she has become by necessity the sole provider for her children, is not cast as an admirable mother, a devoted mother, a committed mother. Rather, she is often seen as unavailable and absent, as intellectually disinterested in and emotionally disengaged from full immersion in motherhood, as spiritually damaged in some way, ignoring the call of her biology, either unwilling or unable to sacrifice her own individual needs to the needs of her children, which should by nature, we are taught, always come first. The Workin’ Woman is selfish and narcissistic, having abandoned her husband, children and home. It is assumed that there must be some way, other than working for a living, to put “dinner on the table” and “food in the ‘fridgerator.”

     In Nature, motherhood is work and work is survival. In Nature, the mother who does it all is the definition of a ‘fit’ mother. In Nature, there is no species of wolf mother that is loving, sweet, warm and fuzzy...always there, always attentive and always available . . . and another entirely different species of wolf mother that is stealthy when she needs to hunt, and savage when her offspring are in danger. In Nature, the nurturing mother and the working mother are one and the same mother.

     But for human mothers the world of working for a living and the world of caring for a husband and children spin in such vastly different orbits that there is nothing for she who aspires to do both but sing the blues. Hers is the plaintive cry of a woman who feels she “ain’t fit to be no wife yet, ain’t fit to be no mother” because she “been workin’ like a man, y’all,” and is not free to stay home and abandon the hunt, is not free to give up the survival instinct that compels her to work for her and her children’s survival, is not free to give up her howl into the night…unless she marries a man who will never leave her or never die, or unless the Lord should see fit to bestow upon her a Sugar Daddy.

      In contrast, I have yet to meet the man who would claim he is unfit to be a father, or unfit to be a husband, because he works. Working is the essence of a man’s life, intrinsic to his social purpose, what he is born to do, raised to do, taught to do, what he is expected to do. Every man looks forward to the day he will become a working man––to a man work is freedom and independence––and most men (not all, but most) assume that ‘workin’ like a man y’all’ is the seminal characteristic that makes them suitable marriage and father-partners. 

      Men are far more likely to be defined by their success at business rather than by their success as husbands and fathers, while women are far more likely to be defined by their success as wives and mothers rather than by their success in the workplace. We are forgiving of a working father whose absence takes him away from the events that mark his children’s adolescence. Although we romanticize the image of a father sitting behind home plate cheering his son on, the image upon which we look in admiration is the one of him sitting at the head of the boardroom conference table. Perceived power in a man, his control of others, indeed his very inaccessibility, makes him sexy and desirable.

     Just as the psychology of women and their relationship to family is embedded in the DNA of our culture, so too is the psychology of men and their relationship to work and money. The foundation of a man’s pride is his willingness to work long hours to earn enough money to have a family, because a man cannot meet the needs of his progeny scraping together a living under the poverty line. Fathers counsel their sons to abandon capricious career pursuits in favor of those that provide financial security. Mothers counsel their daughters to look for partners who will not leave them financially destitute should they predecease them. In a purely Darwinian sense, one might even say that a woman who chooses a man with questionable earning power has questionable survival instincts, and though she may not be the alpha female in a pack, she cannot be out on her own and expect to survive. 

     Even same sex couples raising children together are increasingly falling into the accepted groove of one partner being the designated stay-at-home parent, a trend that underscores the reality that someone must underpin the family financially. Yet, should anything happen to their partnership, that stay-at-home same sex parent will be in the same perilous economic situation as any stay-at-home Mom. Different gender perhaps, but the same ultimate circumstances. Which begs the question - is this the best way to organize human families, or is the model propagated merely because it has become a civil habit?

Men of the Docks, 1912, George Bellows

     Our fundamental empathy with men who cannot find work is as memorably ingrained in our cultural lexicon as Dorothea Lange’s impoverished woman fallen on hard times, no more palpably than in George Bellows’ Men of the Docks, a 1912 painting of longshoremen bundled up against the cold on New York’s East River hoping to be employed unloading the burden of the big ships, the lone shape of a man not chosen for the task disappearing into the shadows to await another’s day’s dawn when he might be chosen for paying work.

      The saga of the working man is universal, recognizable in the United States and in every other country in the world. In 1935 Clifford ODets dramatized it for the post-Depression era in the play Waiting for Lefty, in which a financially dependent Edna goads her husband Joe into joining a strike against his employer for better wages...for the sake of their children. In 1949 Arthur Miller dramatized it for the post-War World II era in the play Death of a Salesman, in which Willy Loman is no longer needed by his company, his own worth as a man so thoroughly tied up with having a job that he kills himself so that his family can receive the insurance payout, the only legacy he feels he can leave them. In 1989, the story of the working man was the central theme of Roger & Me, filmmaker Michael Moore’s documentary about General Motors’ CEO Roger Smith’s decision to close Flint, Michigan’s auto plants and put 30,000 people out of work. 

     And in 1969, country music legend Merle Haggard wrote his own Working Man’s Blues, a song he still performs almost 45 years later, its theme as timeless and predictable as the night howl of a He-Wolf:

Working Man’s Blues by Merle Haggard

It's a big job just gettin' by with nine kids and a wife

I been a workin' man dang near all my life

I'll be working long as my two hands are fit to use

I'll drink my beer in a tavern

Sing a little bit of these working man blues

I keep my nose on the grindstone

I work hard every day

Might get a little tired on the weekend, after I draw my pay

But I'll go back workin', come Monday morning I'm right back with the crew

I'll drink a little beer that evening

Sing a little bit of these working man blues

Hey hey, the working man, the working man like me

I ain't never been on welfare, that's one place I won't be

Cause I'll be working long as my two hands are fit to use

I drink a little beer in a tavern

Sing a little bit of these working man blues

Sometimes I think about leaving, do a little bummin' around

I wanna throw my bills out the window catch a train to another town

But I go back working I gotta buy my kids a brand new pair of shoes

Yeah drink a little beer in a tavern

Cry a little bit of these working man blues

Hey hey, the working man, the working man like me

I ain't never been on welfare, that's one place I won't be

Cause I'll be working long as my two hands are fit to use

I drink a little beer in a tavern

Sing a little bit of these working man blues

Yeah drink a little beer in a tavern

Cry a little bit of these working man blues

     In 2013 there are more women than men in graduate school, and although women are slowly making up 50% of the workforce they are still not earning equal pay for equal work, and, worse, even though women have been pulling their chairs up to the proverbial conference table and speaking up on their own behalf for decades, in spite of what Sheryl Sandberg claims in her book Lean In, they are still not rewarded with major leadership positions no matter their ability and qualifications, because breaking through the glass ceiling is one thing, and reprogramming entrenched gender stereotypes–even entrenched stereotypes by women about women–is quite another.

     In the field of Fine Art, a recent audit showed that every one of the top 100 artists whose works of art were auctioned in 2012 was a man, and only 8% of public art is being created by women. In the world of Letters, depending on which article one reads, only 30% of books reviewed are written by women. And most reviewers and publishers are men, even though women are heavy readers and buyers of books. Sadly, many women authors are still advised to use their initials in lieu of their first names, in order not to dissuade men from buying books written by women. In the world of film, which represents a significant form of American entertainment, only one woman in the 80 year history of the Oscars has ever won an Academy Award for Best Director. 

     These statistics will always reflect the relative invisibility of women as productive participants, in the non-sexual sense, in the economic health of our country, if we do not change our flawed and narrow cultural perception of a woman’s worth. These statistics will never change if we do not teach our children that their mothers’ worth extends far beyond her female capacity to give birth and tend to the homefront. Our country can no longer afford the price of its lack of consciousness about how we value women. We must stop, and listen...

     . . . to the silence of a man when he is out of work and can no longer provide for his family. 

     . . . to the sound of a woman’s tears when she then realizes the price of giving up work for family.

     . . . to what kind of mothers our children really need as role models.

     . . . to what kind of wife and mother and woman and lover each of us wants to be.

     . . . to the beautiful howl of a She-Wolf asking us to redefine what a woman is worth.

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